Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sand in My Toes

Yesterday I took the kids to the local lake. I sat, on the beach, and watched them swim, splash and play. (This, by the way, is a privilege seven years in the making. I remember being at the pool when my kids were tots, while Henry tried desperately to pull my bathing suit top down and Abby yelled "watch me, momma, watch me" every ten seconds. I longingly watched the moms of older kids as they sat in lounge chairs, reading or just being. Yesterday, I was them. That was me. For a solid 15 minutes. Ahhhh.)

As Abby and Henry played, I studied them intently. I watched their golden hair submerse in the water. I, now an outsider to their twosome, curiously wondered about their games and ideas. I had that sense that mothers of young kids rarely get to savor...the ability to observe my kids and not be immediately, intimately, physically connected to their actions.

Awash in the fabulous frivolity of their frolicking, it struck me that I got to watch the creation of memories. And I marveled at how easy it is to absorb someone else's "now" because of my ability to see it unfold. And then I chewed on why I didn't include myself in that now just a bit more. Because I was there, just in a slightly different physical space. Not merely a spectator, but an engaged recorder or historian of sorts, perched on my chair, sand in my toes, capturing the memories of my children. Watching the culmination of our years and minutes into now.

Yup. I was there.

6 comments:

Amommymous Blogger said...

Sigh. Encouraging to hear about life beyond the clingy years. I love the little monkey hugs, but also desperately need to have my body and mind to myself sometimes. Thanks for giving me hope!

Mommyfriend Lori said...

Aww, you brought tears to my eyes. Your post really resonated with me. Thanks for writing this and recoginizing the moment!

Christine said...

My boys are still young, so yes I usually need to be part of the play, but when I get the chance to watch them, truly sit back and watch them, I take such pleasure in it. I love seeing how they hold themselves, watching them discover things and interact.

Crystal said...

I complain about how much my kids need me to be with them every second. I do, I'll admit it. But one day I'll be one of those moms reading the chair and you know what? I think I'll miss it. So thanks for reminding me how fast it truly goes.

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

ooh, this post is a kick to the solar plexis. beautifully written poignantly crafted... well done.

Alita- Da Mainiacs said...

My bambinos are at the age where they still need me in a lot of their play, but old enough to have meaningful interactions with each other. It is slightly voyeuristic in those moments, but as usual you hit the nail on the head with elegance and grace.