Tuesday, May 4, 2010

In A Blink

On Saturday night, I walked through Times Square. Yes, this past Saturday night. The Saturday night when an SUV was discovered, sitting near the Marriott Marquis, getting ready to detonate. Yup, that one.

Thankfully for me and thousands of others who sauntered, sped or lollygagged though Times Square, alert New Yorkers saw the abandoned, smoking Nissan Path Finder. The crude car bomb attempt, and the subsequent murders, were thwarted. Luckily, it seems as if the case is progressing.

That night, my two children spent a snug and comfy evening at home with a babysitter. That night, I walked through the warm Manhattan evening with Hubby and good friends. That night, my tangerine silk blouse fluttered in the spring air. That night, I sat in an open air bar, giddy with spring, and engaged in cold beer and thoughtful conversation. That night, one man thought that in order to prove some point, it might be best to kill people. That night, I could've walked right past a detonating car bomb and died.

My mind, instead of focusing on this possible brush with death, has joyfully focused on my rekindled awareness of my mortality. Sobering, yes, but hopeful. I have NO IDEA when I'm going to die. I can't control my death. Could be an exploding Nissan in Times Square. Could be ANYTHING.

Oddly, I feel calm and assured. My mantra has been reassured: Right now. Right. Here. Right. Now. I do not know when I'll depart this physical world. What I do know: I have right now. My silver lining lies therein: a powerful, if slightly morbid, catalyst to be fully present in the now. Ave Maria, burning candle, Twitter conversations, sound of Hubby's ice clinking in his glass. Sisal carpet under my toes. Mesmerizing flicker of my candle. Muffled barking of a neighbor's dog. Cool night breeze sifting through the open window, heralding my arrival to this moment.


Theta Mom said...

Your vivid desciptions get me every time. It's hard to imagine something like this could happen to "us" since we all have that "no - not me, not my family" syndrome but the reality is, it can anywhere, anytime, for anyone of us.

Certainly puts things into perspective. Thanks for sharing and glad you are all ok!


Daughter&Dad said...

Wow. Great post. I am one of those people who thinks "Oh it can't happen to me", but it really can. Scary world out there.

Stefanie said...

Thank you for the reminder. Right here. Right now. And. The mantra.

MaFerron said...

too true! too true! Right now. I must remember that. the scary thing is that in my "Mom world" with only occasional kids tv on, I didn't even know this happened until two days later. wonderful and current reflection keeps us all in the Right now!

Anonymous said...

I'm a strong believer in fate, and that can be a very scary thing. These kind of reminders keep us human, and help us get back on track. Thank God the worst never came to pass.