tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post3747971922336472308..comments2023-08-23T07:25:44.599-04:00Comments on universal grit: Searching for GraceDenisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15462569218964784357noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-56106046166118550802010-06-30T16:15:24.418-04:002010-06-30T16:15:24.418-04:00What a careful, poignant description of such a com...What a careful, poignant description of such a common experience. I have lain in my bed, next to my husband, but unable to talk to him about it, stewing in my grief and guilt and exhausted defeatedness about my day with my children, my failures, my quickness to anger and my slowness to smile.<br /><br />They are such forgiving creatures. They always, always let me try again tomorrow.anymommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17870033179328734404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-30693059121637713362010-06-28T10:36:37.573-04:002010-06-28T10:36:37.573-04:00Denise, I feel your pang, frustration, regret and ...Denise, I feel your pang, frustration, regret and longing to be “a good mom” – whatever that may mean to us - through your words. I feel them too, although I could not have put them together quite as beautifully as you have. It’s funny how our children are the best indicators of how we are behaving ourselves as they (unwittingly? subconsciously?) mimic us. When we’re at our best, it’s wonderful to see the joy surface in our children, but at our worst, we see a perpetuation of our frailties, sometimes even coming back at us in full swing. <br /><br />I hope you will have a peaceful week ahead. And that you will be kinder, gentler with yourself. I know – easier said than done. I am the same way as you, always my own worst critic, but at the very core of all our selves is a flawed human being who is really trying. That person deserves a break, and even some credit. If not for succeeding, at least for trying. I hope I will remember this myself when I need it.Justinehttp://www.herewhereihavelanded.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-66795269669012203182010-06-26T12:38:41.558-04:002010-06-26T12:38:41.558-04:00I understand, my friend, I understand. I too am my...I understand, my friend, I understand. I too am my own worst critic and it makes the judgement so much more harsh. But like you, if I let it flow, most often in the form of tears, I can feel them cleanse my soul and bathe me in forgiveness and understanding. I'm sorry you've been struggling, there are so few words I can offer beyond, take care, and try to love yourself. Hugs!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-32895385318962623102010-06-26T08:29:00.089-04:002010-06-26T08:29:00.089-04:00Yes. Yes. Oh, and yes. I've been there so many...Yes. Yes. Oh, and yes. I've been there so many freaking times it's ridiculous.<br /><br />Since you're new-ish to blogging, dare I say that this social media thing may be involved? Not entirely in a bad way, I don't mean that you're being selfish with your time-because I'm not spying on you. I just know that for me, I feel so torn all the time. Finding balance is hard. Once you discover the joy of this platform and the community involved in blogging, it pulls you. More more more, you know? <br /><br />And it's a GOOD thing, but it's really really hard to find the balance, to not feel guilty, and to stop yourself from getting frustrated with the kiddos for interrupting your writing thoughts and time.<br /><br />Just a thought, I don't even really know what I'm saying. I guess I've just noticed that when I'm different toward my kids and then hard on myself about it, a lot of the time it has to do with all that stuff I just rambled about. could totally just be me. <br /><br />Love,<br />Maverick.Heather of the EOhttp://www.extraordinary-ordinary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-75221697374704447152010-06-26T08:21:40.569-04:002010-06-26T08:21:40.569-04:00I'm so glad you are reaching a turn around. It...I'm so glad you are reaching a turn around. It's so so hard to do.Law Mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04109050393503675101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-14164123930308225932010-06-25T19:45:14.296-04:002010-06-25T19:45:14.296-04:00Yes, yes, yes.
Hopefully my words will come back s...Yes, yes, yes.<br />Hopefully my words will come back soon too! :) xoLindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12909653448867538655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-38875128104190829292010-06-25T15:52:22.493-04:002010-06-25T15:52:22.493-04:00Beautifully written Denise. It is so very hard whe...Beautifully written Denise. It is so very hard when you find yourself in a downward spiral to summon the effort and energy required to climb back out and sometimes it takes a blow out such as you experienced to as it were draw a line in the sand and make you see that it is time to turn around. Being a mother is hard, finding the patience required each and every day requires tremendous effort.One Photohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05793386254564806126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-22033792351646155122010-06-25T14:49:57.414-04:002010-06-25T14:49:57.414-04:00Hi Denise - I can relate so deeply to what you say...Hi Denise - I can relate so deeply to what you say here about not extending yourself the same grace that you extend to others. I do the same thing, exacerbating any low point and make it that much harder to climb out. I wonder sometimes: is it a mother thing? a woman thing? From where do we get the expectation that we should be perfect when what we teach our kids is that they should try their best?<br /><br />Beautifully written, as always!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-51608518432221745752010-06-25T14:36:59.105-04:002010-06-25T14:36:59.105-04:00Sometimes I envy my children for their ability to ...Sometimes I envy my children for their ability to live completely int he emotion of the moment, swept away by joy or despair, fully silencing the inner critic to just BE. Why, oh, why can't I do that? Probably because lapsing into the despair is far too scary and giving in to the joy too precarious -- I'm always waiting for the conductor to drop the baton on the moment instead of getting lost in the music.IASoupMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11222652185240780006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15391395251067357.post-50423531026227689372010-06-25T14:33:30.841-04:002010-06-25T14:33:30.841-04:00You are an amazing writer! Geez you put my posts t...You are an amazing writer! Geez you put my posts to shame. But I digress, I too have been in your shoes many a times. My MIL gave me some great advice. Sometimes rather than trying to correct the behavior or diffuse the situation, get out. Get yourself and the kids out of that mundane situation and try to bring light again. Then when everything has felt "back to a happy normal" address the issue. It will probably be more receptive now. And no one will be emotionally attached and easily angered. I don't recommend it every time, but sometimes we all just need a break. Them too.mountains-to-climbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12593442938301498409noreply@blogger.com